I’m curious. When you see that word is it a positive or negative?  Is it motivating or demotivating to you? Is it annoying or uplifting?

I was recently listening to Rachel Hollis’s book, “Girl, Stop Apologizing”.  I love Rachel’s energy and agree with most things she says.  She brought up the term Girl Boss and how media has created this cute word that we use to describe women entrepreneurs. She goes on to say how the “Girl” is not needed to describe the job and it reduces the value of the significant BOSS job us ladies are doing!  At first, I totally agreed with her. I thought, “ Yes, we are doing the job that would be described for a man as “boss”.  Shouldn’t we just be Boss for us too?” But, then as I sat and reflected on this statement, I began to feel proud of it.  I am just fine with claiming that I am a Lady,( a work in progress no doubt) … and a Boss.  I think it is great to find common bonds and connections with people who are like you.  I have said many times, “don’t label me” I don’t do well with politics or judgement based on these labels.  But, Lady… now that is a label I wear proudly. And well, “Boss” is just the name I was given to me by my team.

I think it is important to realize we ARE DIFFERENT but EQUALLY VALUABLE! Respecting the differences other “labels” have and realizing we all have ideas and solutions based on our unique experience and talents will help move us forward.

I have recently been studying leadership and paying close attention to my own bias, so I can be a better boss. The more I study, the more I know I have much to learn! Being one of the few women CEOs in my network, I find it motivating to have a focus on building up other women.. And though the men in my life give me a hard time for my “girlpower” energy, I will continue to be proud of it! In order for the numbers of female leaders to increase steadily we have to have more lady bosses there to support them, to make the environment more inviting, so we can help to solve the complex problems our world faces. I will continue to advocate and empower more #ladybosses and push for a #balanceforbetter society.

I am a woman, so I find it easy to talk about that… I am aware that diversity is not just about gender.  If you are focused on changing your “label”, I’m here to help you as well!

In today’s world, we have to think about our personal brand! Whether we convey it through social media or just in our everyday interactions, our personal brand is part of our identity! People are going to “assess” you and put you ‘in a box’ (whether we like it or not, it’s just part of our nature)  If we get to define our identify before others can do that for us, isn’t it something we should do?

I challenge you to create “your words” around your identity!

My word is #LADYBOSS!

As I celebrate my anniversary and National Girl Scouts Day, I am reminded what G.I.R.L means to me.  I was reminded of this several times since our International Women’s Day event.  First, as we sat around the table and discussed if we had ever felt like being the only girl at the table was a challenge for us. Most of the leaders at the table never even took notice of it. But I have heard stories from less assertive people, it was indeed a challenge. Then, as I watched the girl in Captain Marvel movie be pushed down over and over and told she shouldn’t want to do what he boys were doing, I started to be reminded just how hard it is.  I had been pondering on these things when I received the text, “Favorite moment of Captain Marvel when she’s kicking ass to Gwen’s “I’m just a girl” I instantly thought of you!”

I too had noticed “Just A Girl” playing at the very moment when the girl realizes she has always had the power she needed to win.  She just needed to take control it.

I am a girl named Charli.  I often laugh and say my dad thought I was a boy, and they just didn’t have a backup name. The truth is I have always wanted to prove I could do the same things boys could.  Growing up with a sister who was always annoyed with me, I had no other choice than to keep up with my two younger brothers. Competing with them left me with a broken arm and my feelings hurt too many times to count.  I continued to strive to be more than “Just a girl.”  I remember the day my brother picked me up and moved me to one side… I no longer tried to compete with him on strength, but I also didn’t understand how my limiting beliefs got in my way.

I have been drawn to No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” as long as I can remember.  Honestly, I can’t remember when I first heard it; it has been with me always. When you hear the title, you may think she is agonizing over being a girl or that she can’t do things because she is a girl.  The opposite is true.   She is fed up with the world telling her she can’t do things.  I am drawn to the lyrics.

“’Cause I’m just a girl
I’d rather not be
‘Cause they won’t let me drive
Late at night
Oh I’m just a girl
Guess I’m some kind of freak
‘Cause they all sit and stare
With their eyes”

Probably because I was 14 going on 18, and I wanted to be able to drive whenever I wanted to or wondered why I couldn’t wear a swimsuit without people staring.

Today, I find this verse closer to my everyday:

“Don’t you think I know
Exactly where I stand
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand”

My thoughts go to responses like “I’ve played this game long enough, and I have had it up to here!”  From time to time, I sing this VERY LOUD in private, or on a karaoke stage after too many margaritas with my sister (who always says I don’t know the song).  Honestly, I don’t either of us can say this line with margaritas… go ahead try it…

“What I’ve succumbed to
Is making me numb”

The point of this ramble is to say… I have had it up to “here.”  Here being the level in which I am forced to stop improving.  I want to continue to grow, climb, lead, and be challenged.

When you are at the top, pushing forward and feel the resistance, it can be crippling. Similar to Captain Marvel, when she knows she had done the work to compete.. YOU have to make a choice… To go for it, or to quit.

I have no desire to be masculine or to say I can do things better than men. I do want to continue to challenge myself as a G.I.R.L. (Go-getter, Innovator, Risk-Taker, and Leader)  and to focus on the things, I can control…

Meghan Merkle now Duchess of Sussex,  says it best in this speech:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmAEQuK_6Rk

Where she says, “Women need a seat at the table, they need an invitation to be seated there, and in some cases, where this is not available, well then you know what? Then, they need to create their own table.” That is exactly what I am doing!

She goes on to say “It is said, that girls with dreams become women with vision. May we empower each other to carry out such vision because it isn’t enough to simply talk about equality. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to simply believe in it,  one must work at it… Let us work at it together.  Starting now.”

EmpoweringWomeninIndustry.com … Just a girl with a dream of sitting at the table!  Join me…

I am just getting back from AHR Expo where I shook hands with some of the most successful women and men in the business!  I always look forward to this event because it is unique to our industry as we get to see companies like Armstrong Fluid Technologies, WATTS, Schneider Electric, ABB, Danfoss, and WEG exhibiting innovative technologies that will help building owners save energy and run their pump systems efficiently. You can see all our fun here.

Shaking hands with these amazing leaders, I learned the most in the 5 hours after I left GWCC.  Here’s what happened…

After all the “Connected” talk at the show, I decided to connect to my new Jeep’s hands-free and get a few things accomplished while driving home. Suddenly, I got a text message on my CarPlay screen and was able to have Siri read it to me. So cool! Especially because the text had the monkey emoji in it. Too Funny… Go ahead… say monkey emoji out loud… You’re welcome!  LOL. As I drove from Atlanta back to Tuscaloosa, I made several hands-free calls, and I was thankful for the productivity on my drive home with a full inbox. Thank you, Technology!

I was almost home when I received a call from Carter saying they (my family) was on their way to eat and then off to my son’s basketball game.  I was so tired but decided to drive straight to the game.  When my family arrived, I was greeted differently from each of my three children.  Jackson (13) was in game mode, so I only got a fist bump. My middle child, Andrew (10), welcomed me with a hug, and Karli (8) yelled “Mommy!” loudly, running in for a big hug. Then I walked over and gave Carter a thankful kiss.

As I sat on the bleacher, I could feel my entire body.  I was officially all out of charm.  I had talked, walked, and danced so much I had worn the nail polish off my freshly painted toenails!  I try not to let people know when I’m tired, but I barely talked to anyone outside of my family that night.  All I wanted to do was be there for my son. I sat and spoke with Carter and Andrew about the Great Handshake while Karli played games on my phone.  Andrew was excited about his day.  He had shadowed a teacher and when they asked him if he would like that career, his answer was ‘yes’ and ‘no’.  “Yes, because I could work on a team,” Andrew explained. “No, because I am going to be an engineer at MIT.” My eyes got big and I smiled from ear to ear because I know so many brilliant engineers, and his declaration just blew me away.

My mind quickly flashed back to a few days earlier, when I had received a call from home. I was focused on the event, seeing our clients, meeting new people, and not at all ready to get a call from home to talk about Andrew’s missing blazer! When I’m traveling, Carter usually has everything under control, but this time, I got a call asking where Andrew’s blazer was. He had the final round of “The Great Handshake” competition the next day. He had been practicing and was really excited about it. I had been having dinner with a client, but I stepped into the next booth and took the Facetime call. Andrew was visibly upset. I was then visibly upset – at myself for not laying out the outfit before I left, and at Carter for not just handling that while I was away.  We had just been discussing this very topic in our Empowering Women’s group about how to be better organized at home when traveling for work. I let a couple tears flow, cleaned up in the bathroom, then went back to work… Sound familiar to my fellow working moms?

So, back to being with Andrew in the bleachers…I asked how it went… They had not picked the winner yet. The basketball game ended, and Jackson made me proud by being a team player, hustling, and scoring 17 points.

After the game, Karli wanted to ride home with me, so I rearranged the vehicle containing our booth display and materials so she could get in and ride safely – a sheer test of positivity in parenting when you’re already exhausted.

Once in the house, I just wanted to go to bed, but I try to spend a moment with each of my children.  So, I listened to Jackson tell me about his game. Karli wanted me to wash her hair, so I did and the water felt so good!  I decided I must run a bath! Then, I went to Andrew’s room.  He was laying in his bed writing in his journal.  I asked what he was writing about, and while he was initially hesitant to show me, he answered, “the great handshake”.  I was so proud!

He asked me to lay beside him and then he read me this line: “How to be a leader is good in life because you can help people, you can be trusted, and you can…” he paused, giving me a window to shout, “inspire others!” Andrew smiled and said, “Yes- that’s good!” He was writing about Round 1 and told me how he plans to write about the other rounds too. Having practiced his “handshake” with him, I knew how important this is to him. I wanted to know more, so I asked if he would read his journal entry to me from the beginning.  The next moment changed my perspective…

“The Great Handshake is an opportunity to greet new people and give yourself to the other person’s perspective or part of life.” WOW!! I almost cried tears of joy at this little man’s perspective! It was a good reminder that when we shake hands (which I had been doing all week), we should also open up and learn from the other person. I often think hugs (especially when hugging non-huggers) and photos can also be a great way to see into the lives of others.

After this precious moment with my son, I went to run my bath. My daughter was in “my spot” in the bed, and lovingly said she would warm it up for me. This surprised me. I told her I just heard a story about a husband that always warmed his wife’s spot before bed.  She said, “I know! I heard you tell daddy about it!” This girl listens to everything!  She is also very thoughtful!  #Proudmommy Thinking of the way we lean in to others, when I climbed into bed and snuggled up to my daughter, I took a couple pictures to remember this ‘Charli/Karli magic’ moment.  Karli looked at the photos and said, “Post that one! You have a sparkle in your eye!”

The next day, when someone commented on the “glad to be home” photo, I thought… Yes, my work/life balance captured in a photo, a hug, and a great handshake!

How do you “lean in” to other people’s perspectives?