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Marrying Your Networks

Posted on by Charli Matthews
Carter & Charli smiling

Carter & Charli smiling

While I was listening to the Empowering Women Podcast, I heard the phrase “Marrying Your Networks.”  I thought, this is another way of describing my passion for connecting.   I enjoy the challenge of taking two seemingly different groups of people and finding a common bond. I also think we can learn so much if we take the time to listen to other point of views.  So many times, people see “different” and avoid the situation completely.  I see difference as an asset.

Sometimes I do find myself with an uncomfortable feeling around a stranger.  Now, I am not talking about the “RUN, you are in Danger!” uncomfortable. (This should be given immediate attention!)  I’m talking about the person looks different or views the world differently than me, and I don’t know what to say to them uncomfortable.

I think about this a lot in my own business and family.  Each of my children are on a completely different wave length…

To tie this into our daily work, I’ll use Carter and I as an example.  When it comes to Sales & Marketing, we are like oil & water. We usually agree with the final result or goal, but we go about the work completely differently.

Me: Focused on customer at all times and how they feel about working with us.

Carter: Focused on the details of customer expectations and measurable results.

Now, both of these are very important to ensuring success in the overall customer experience. However, these differences can cause some confusion at times.  If we take into account the other person’s goals and how they process information needed to make a decision, we can learn how to communicate in a language the other person can understand better.

Thinking of the other person’s communication style and goals:

Carter could say to me, “I think the customer would feel better about their program if they received________.”

I could say, “Based on this stat, we should be doing more ________.”

This is a simple example of how we can communicate differently with people just by taking in their point of view.  As we look to grow our networks to grow industry, I challenge you to connect with a person outside of your normal “looks like me, thinks like me” circle.  You will be surprised what you learn about yourself while listening to another person’s story.  Also, if you go into these networking opportunities with a mindset of helping the other person accomplish their goals, this is where the magic happens!  Marrying networks with a common goal make us better, faster, and stronger!

I’d love to hear your tips for better communication with people outside your comfort zone.

Reflections on Episode 8 with Ingrid Lindberg, Chief Customer Experience Officer

Posted on by Charli Matthews
You_got_this photo with podcast

I just finished listening to the interview with Ingrid for the third time!  There are so many key points in here that I find it hard to leave anything out!  To start, Ingrid Lindberg is the founding owner of Chief Customer Consulting. She is the first person to hold the title of CXO, or Chief Customer Experience Officer. From the early age of 14, Ingrid began working full-time at a salon; she soon worked her way into retail, and then retail management at the age of 17. Leveraging her customer service experience, she took advantage of opportunities to catapult into the world of customer experience, which was really just becoming a thing when she got into it.

I hope all humans listen to this episode. There is so much to learn. Starting with how we raise our children… *if we decide to have them.  Ingrid’s parents allowed her access to many people and places at a young age.  They allowed her to be present and have a voice no matter her age or level of understanding.  This gave way to confidence and the belief that

“Your voice matters. Raise it. Own it. Use it.”

I believe that this courage and curiosity is decided at such a young age, which means we must be intentional in our parenting to make room for nurturing this confidence! I think this gives Ingrid the ability to stand firm in who she is and not conform.

“I was 20 years younger than any of my peers, at best. I didn’t fit the mold at all. I have not been very good at packaging myself into one of those female execs who disappears. I don’t do that… I’ve not played a lot of those roles that female executives have, where they either try to conform to that boys club or frankly just try to disappear as a human…. ”

She also faced adversity being raised in a single parent home and had to help provide for her family.  I have a similar story where my mother was a teacher and had to go back to school to get a nursing degree to be able to care for her 4 children. This also fueled me to get a degree where I could take care of myself no matter what… I think this goes into many career choices, and the silver lining is that we can change, grow, or start a new challenge at any time of our lives.

I love how Ingrid combines her work and her degree in sociology to follow her passion of learning more about people.  Like me, she finds humans so interesting and set out to study them. I know this passion is why she was so successful in customer service. Jumping into leadership at an early age, she was faced with many uncomfortable moments where she is lucky to have been given an early understanding of how much her voice mattered.

I am so thankful for Ingrid and how she speaks her truth.  She worked very hard to build a successful career, and this gives her the freedom to overcome many fears we face as leaders in male-dominated fields…”There’s so much fear that drives silence.”

I think freedom gives her the strength to stand up in situations like this one:

“I don’t know how to do things like say, ‘Oh Joe, that’s a brilliant idea. Thank you so much for coming up with it.’ I say things like, ‘Joe, I’m sorry you felt like you had to restate something I said 20 minutes ago. Would you like me to be clearer next time?’ ”

May we all strive for this level of bravery. Especially when it comes to the ownership of our ideas.  If we don’t standup for ourselves, we will lose out.

For this next part, I am thankful for Ingrid giving us the opportunity to discuss this.  I can remember having dinner with colleagues and it being assumed that I would be dismissed after dinner as the men would move venues and continue to network… It was like something out of the Titanic movie where “she talks of the men retiring to brandy and cigars”.  I, like Ingrid, will not be “dismissed.” The next few quotes may shock some, but I can assure you this is the world we live in.  If you are around top leaders, you will be put in these uncomfortable settings and you will have to decide how to manage it.

Like Lynn told us, you will need to be prepared to know your boundaries… This will be different for all of us, but know you have the right to sit at the table if you choose to. You also have the right not to…

“Corporate America has been built around the support of the fraternity, from the places where “deals are done” to the business that is done over brown liquor and cigars. The fraternity was built to help men get from one stage to another is one that seems impenetrable for women… Fraternities have built a certain kind of toxic business environment of insiders and exclusion. I questioned the assumption that I should try to join.”

“When I was managing a team of all men who would invite me to lunches, but would never take me to Friday night happy hour… so I followed them once. And walked straight into the strip club that was three and a half blocks from work. And sat down with them and said, “hey, I’m a part of this team and if I have to sit here to remind you I’m a part of this team, then I’ll sit here to remind you that I’m a part of this team.”

This reminds me of a conversation I had recently that started with the question, ‘How do you decide who to hang out with at business events?’  The response was “ I am very particular about who I go out with.  I have to trust them completely”.   I believe this is where women need to invest their time growing their network.  We need to have the same “I’ve got your back or I’ll protect you” peer group that the men in our network have… It’s worth studying.  I am not saying we all need to start meeting in the red light district, but we should continue to meet and grow in trusting each other.

We can continue this conversation around building trust in a peer group – let me know if you’ll be at any upcoming events and we’ll see if we can Connect with Purpose!

On to the next episode…

Reflecting on episode 7 of the Empowering Women Podcast

Posted on by Charli Matthews
You_got_this photo with podcast
I really enjoyed the last two episodes because they opened my eyes to additional career paths that are meaningful and have an element of responsibility to our communities.
Drena’s story makes me feel like I am getting something right in terms of leadership. Fascinated that STEM careers can include things like makeup counters which I do spend time at from time to time.  So many areas to talk about, but I’ll focus on these areas: Mentoring, Leadership, Belief.
One reason Drena was successful in her career was because she actively seeks mentors and sponsors strategically along her path. As she looked to grow in an area or skill, she would look to a leader in that space to sponsor or educate her in the skills she needed.
I loved how she discussed how her career was mostly influencing others’ behaviors. She discussed how influencing is basically done through storytelling and listening for pain points or problems that can be solved.  Communication is key to the success of a business.  The better we can communicate with others, the better our workforce becomes.
I believe her leadership style aligns with mine. I am also very focused on continuous learning.  I call it continuous improvement, but I see the only way to improve is to learn from our failures and successes.  She also asks people to stretch.  I am always pushing my team outside their comfort zone while focusing on building strengths.
“Tackling today’s challenges” – I make sure my team is involved in the strategy of our company and consistently check in with them to make sure they are working on something they are passionate about.  I believe we are all more driven when we feel we are making an impact on something we care about in our core being.
This was probably my favorite quote Drena stated:  “As a leader, we must trust our own voice and opinion and stop undervaluing it or playing small.”  I still struggle with this, but I am improving.  I am thankful to Drena for sharing her challenges so I feel less alone in those feelings.  Thank you, Drena!
I also wanted to highlight the importance of being bold and having the courage to (like Drena says) “Make the Ask.”  Whether you are trying to climb the ladder, obtain hands-on experience, just get an Ally! Go ahead and ask for it.

Reflecting on Episode 6 of the Empowering Women Podcast

Posted on by Charli Matthews
You_got_this photo with podcast

This episode features Sepi Saidi, Civil Engineer & Entrepreneur, Founding Owner of SEPI, Inc. Sepi is a visionary leader who founded SEPI Engineering & Construction in 2001 and has led the company to become a premier full service civil, environmental planning, and construction management engineering firm in the Southeast. One insight Sepi shares in this podcast is: “It’s about choosing… making decisions that create happiness and balance for your family, your particular lifestyle, and what’s important to you. [You can] craft that. Craft your life.” This really resonated with me because, like Sepi, I too decided to “craft my life” as an entrepreneur. In fact, this month, I am celebrating my 8th year in business!

Entrepreneurs face various obstacles and find the courage to overcome barriers. Sepi has conquered her own set of challenges. I can’t imagine what it was like for her moving to a different country and the culture shock that had to follow. I can relate to building a business through hard work and believing in the vision. There is so much truth in success being tied to your belief in yourself and your dream. Sepi talks about entrepreneurship taking persistence. We both started our companies not knowing anything about starting a business and that comes with learning by doing!  It is about being curious, asking questions, and doing the research to gain the knowledge you need to accomplish the tasks.

I love how Sepi talks about building her team.  Building a team that believes in your mission and also has the skills to execute. She discusses how a leader should be able to step out and the team effectively run without her, as well as the leader stepping back in to collaborate on ideas and making sure all voices and perspectives are being heard. Growing a productive team is necessary to the health of a startup. I remember when I was at my limit, and the only way I would be able to continue to grow is to invest in personnel to help take my business to the next level.  Ensuring our team is working well together in a collaborative and supportive environment is my primary focus now. I loved when Sepi discusses bringing your “whole self” into the office.  Openly talking about what is happening with us personally is important to an enjoyable work life. I also hope that I have built a company that allows everyone on the team the flexibility to “craft their own life!”

Sepi’s take on life is so refreshing, and I absolutely see why she is successful. She understand the reality of bias in the workplace and faces those challenges head-on.  Beginning her career as an engineer in a male-dominated industry, she knows that bias is present. She uses a curiosity mindset instead of judgement to gain a better understanding of the situation.  Most good people discriminate unconsciously, and so if we talk about and highlight these things, people who do these things without knowing will see their own bias and will adjust. These steps will lead us in the right direction to having a more inclusive workforce.

I want to encourage you that if you feel overwhelmed by bias in the workplace, don’t give up on your dream. If you need to remove yourself and take a break to be sure the company still aligns with your goals, do that.  But then, make sure you identify the problem and focus on bringing solutions to the table. Sepi inspires us to “focus not only on the results but offer solutions.”

In the end, she reminded me of a Ted Talk that has been my mindset for years now…

  1. Face Your Fears.
  2. Ask yourself “So What!”   What is the worst that can happen?
  3. Think… If they don’t like me, they just don’t know me yet!

Sepi calls us as Leaders to be visible and show our passion for our work. In her case, for engineering and entrepreneurship!  What is your passion?  Start your journey in being visible by commenting below!

On to the next podcast…

Invest in Yourself

Posted on by Charli Matthews
Charli-invest-in-yourself

What comes to mind when you read Invest in Yourself?  Is it buying yourself that new outfit? Shopping at Whole Foods? Or being able to invest in your 401K?  Whatever came to mind, I want to challenge you to rethink what this means to you.

I was recently discussing how we often sign up for training events with a sincere intention to attend and improve at a specific subject / area of expertise. In some cases, for whatever reason, we don’t attend. I find myself asking, “What is it that makes us follow through with that commitment?” Does personal development need to be forced by our employers to make sure we put enough attention on it to actually do the task?  Or is it a matter of money?  Is the only way our minds can see value in a commitment if it is tied to money?  Coming from a background of sales, this is something I will continue to research.  In the meantime, allow me to call attention to the importance of personal development and investing in your skills.

Wikipedia defines Personal development as “activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and facilitate employability, enhance the quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations. Personal development takes place over the course of a person’s entire life.[1] Not limited to self-help, the concept involves formal and informal activities for developing others in roles such as teacher, guide, counselor, manager, life coach or mentor. When personal development takes place in the context of institutions, it refers to the methods, programs, tools, techniques, and assessment systems that support human development at the individual level in organizations.”

Let’s start with improving awareness and identity.  If we don’t spend time reflecting on our own abilities and how we can improve, we will be in a constant state of confusion.  Not understanding what direction to go or what strengths we possess to get us there.   Understanding who we are or who we would like to become is the first step in personal development.  Spend some time to understand your talents and goals.

Building Human Capital and Employability. This should have Human Resources rejoicing as well as demanding investment into personal development.   How can HR really show that they are building the human capital within their organizations?  I believe there is fear that if we help train our employees to be better at their jobs that they may acquire those skills then leave the organizations.  This fear has increased in recent years with millennials entering the workforce.  I too have struggled with the investment and the ‘unknown’ in an employee’s commitment, but there is no room for abandoning our responsibility to training and building our employees within our organizations.  If you treat your employee well, even if they leave, they will send connections and even sometimes sales back your way.

Invest In Yourself

Self-help… now I am a big fan.  I probably have more books in this area than any other, but this can only go so far.  We must network and grow by connecting with people who are better than us. Networking with role models and mentors who have already figured out much of what we are trying to accomplish.  Joining a network of peers in your industry is one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself. I say give to yourself, because you don’t have to wait for your boss to sign you up for these opportunities. If you understand the importance of this to your development as a person and an employee, you can easily make the case for this.

As I think about this for our own conference, Empowering Women in Industry,  I have never been more confident in the amount of value something like this will give to your life.  At $350 for a full day of learning skills, networking, and celebrating industry success with dinner and music, I will take back that overpriced purse or wine and take another look at really investing in myself.

So, if the research says we must tie dollars to our commitments to make sure they happen, that is all set up for our event – just know that this is not what is motivating our event. Our event is motivated by the desire to help you invest in yourself. You are worth investing in!!! When you grow, and we grow together, we can #BetheChange.

“Personal development is the belief that you are worth the effort, time and energy needed to develop yourself.” ―Denis Waitley